Cold jokes.....Brrr

冷笑话1

有一天小明很无聊，便跑到山洞去。

他对山洞大喊：“有人在吗?"(福建话）

他就听见有人回答：“吾。。。。”

结果他被火车撞死了。


冷笑话2

甲：有只兔子跟一只跑得很快的乌龟赛跑，你猜谁赢了？
乙：兔子。
甲：错了。是乌龟赢了。都说是跑得很快的乌龟了！

甲：那我再问你，有只兔子跟一只戴着墨镜的乌龟赛跑，你猜谁赢了？
乙：兔子。
甲：又错了。是乌龟赢了!
甲：因为那个乌龟拿下墨镜，原来就是那只跑得很快的乌龟！


冷笑话3

Q:为什么SUPERMAN的衣服每次都是紧紧的？
A:因为衣服上写着“S"size。

A man was sitting in an aeroplane seat when he noticed his old
friend sitting behind him. The man immediately got up and greeted
this friend behind him. After that, the pilot made an announcement.
The man, realising that the pilot was also his friend, went to the
c ockpit to greet the pilot, who happened to have the same name as
his old friend. However, the man was taken away by the FBI and CIA
after he greeted the pilot. Why?

Ans:

Someone accidentally dropped a dumpling onto the ground. Who will
pick up the dumpling?

Ans:

How do prawns laugh?

Ans:

Which Chinese Emperor in history is bilnd?

Ans:

Which Chinese host dun hav centre parting?

Ans:

Why can't foxes (hu li) climb trees?

Ans:

Once upon a time there are 2 bros Da Ming and Xiao Ming. Xiao Ming grew up by drinking milk everyday. What does Da Ming drink, then?

Ans:

Among Xiao Hong, Xiao Bai, Xiao Hei, Xiao Lan, Xiao Huang, who cannot tahan roller-coasters?

Ans:

why is 1(yi1) laziest while 2(er3) is the most hardworking??

[ Click on the spoiler tab =) ]

Spoiler:

一不做，二不休

Q1) Ah mei's dad has 7 wives, the 5th and 7th are africans. Guess a Chinese idiom.

A1)

Spoiler:

wu qi ma hei

Q2) There's a party in the forest but... who didn't get to eat the cake!?!

A2)

Spoiler:

GRASS because Cao Mei Dan Gao

Q3) Ah bao was murdered! however the police quickly found the killer.. who is it?

A3)

Spoiler:

Ah Dou because Dou Sa Bao

Q)What did BATMAN say when he fell down?

A)

Spoiler:

Painful Sia...(Bian fu sia)

Q) Which brand of shampoo is the wealthiest?

A)

Spoiler:

"Lux" Super Rich

Q)xiao yang(goat), xiao niu(cow) and xiao zhu(pig) went to 7-11. xiao niu and xiao zhu were beaten up.why xiao yang was not beaten up?

A

Spoiler:

)Because 7-11 24 hours bu da yang (opens 24 hours).

A)who is the mother of glutinous rice balls (tang yuan)?

Q)

Spoiler:

hua. cos "hua sheng tang yuan".

A)The bun (bao1) was lying dead on the floor. The spoon (tang chi), fork (cha) and knife (dao) were there. Who killed the bun?

Q)

Spoiler:

Cha, cos "cha sha bao".

Mantou n tau sar pao were veri gd frens...
when mantou left n migrated...y did tau sar pau cry?

Spoiler:

cos tau sar pau had feelings (fillings)

psychological test...(maybe??)

once there was a veri tall coconut tree...
one day ironman, spiderman, batman and superman walked past the tree and saw it...
dey decided to challenge each other to see who could pluck the most bananas from that tree...
who won?

Spoiler:

If u chose ironman, means u are stupid...
If u chose spiderman, means u brainless...
If u chose batman, u shld go back to kindergarden...
If u chose superman, haiz...relli no brain...

Spoiler:

Y u so stupid go choose one of them??...how to pluck bananas from a coconut tree???

Q: Which important person in China history is the fastest ever?

A:

Spoiler:

Cao Cao, cos "shuo cao cao, cao cao jiu dao".

Q)Which country got no vegetables?

ANS:

Spoiler:

CHINA (pronunce the name in mandarin is like asking "CHYE NE?" ---> Where vegetables?)

Q)Which country is very unlucky?

ANS:

Spoiler:

VERY-SUAY-LA (Venezuela)

A bit racist..

What do you get when you see My Chemical Romance (MCR) chasing after a bunch of indians?

Spoiler:

ANS: Welcome To The Black Parade

HAHAHA. waalau super dumb lah. haha. cheered up my day! haha. and the quiz was super lame lah! i didnt even notice it was banana from coconut tree. haha

oh my god yijia! LOLx......

haha cause reading thru fast ma. in the end... ZZZ! zhao zhi dao dont choose. haha. helped to pass time in class sia! i like the first page jokes. haha